All by myself (don’t wanna be): Why ‘the dream’ is a team sport

"I used to wear 'doing it all by myself' like a badge of honour… until life reminded me—once again—that the real magic happens when you have a team."

This week brought home a lesson that's now etched firmly on my heart: success—whether personal, professional, or creative—is not a solo gig. And honestly? I don't want it to be.

In the past seven days, an eclectic mix of experiences—attending a Dua Lipa concert, witnessing my beloved Illawarra Hawks win the NBL championship, and a brief hospital stay—unexpectedly illuminated the beauty and necessity of teamwork in vivid detail.

Even solo stars aren’t truly alone

Take Dua Lipa’s concert: visually stunning, flawlessly delivered, and seemingly effortless. On the surface, it appeared all about the solo superstar in the spotlight. But behind every glittering performance was an orchestra of unseen heroes: sound engineers, lighting techs (shout-out to Aaron!), security, hospitality staff, and countless others. I realised, sitting there in awe, even the most dazzling solo act is built on a brilliant team. We often idolise individual stars but forget the constellation that makes their brilliance possible.

Elizabeth Gilbert perfectly captures this when she says, "The myth of the lone genius has done more to hurt our understanding of creativity than anything else."

Quiet heroes and seamless teamwork

A hospital isn't a place anyone chooses to spend time, but even a short stay this week was deeply illuminating. It reminded me that every role matters. Nurses, doctors, cleaners at 2 am, kitchen staff quietly delivering meals—all critical to the delicate balance of care.

I vividly recall a powerful moment years ago, when my youngest son Nate was born prematurely. Late one night in the NICU, a tiny newborn arrived needing immediate transfer to Sydney. Without fuss or a single spoken word, an entire medical team swung into perfectly synchronised action. It took mere minutes. A baby's life was saved in near silence, pure teamwork communicating through glances and nods. It was teamwork at its most breathtakingly powerful.

As Alfred North Whitehead wisely said, "No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude."

Winning together: there’s no ‘I’ in team

Speaking of winning, my local basketball heroes, the Illawarra Hawks, achieved something extraordinary this week—winning the NBL championship at home after years of struggle. With their inspirational hashtag #WeRiseTogether, they exemplified unity. Star players sidelined by injuries meant the team had to dig deeper together—and they did. Spectators cheered louder, players supported one another, and ultimately, they won as a collective. Watching them celebrate reminded me powerfully: there's no 'I' in team, and true victory is sweeter when shared.

James Cash Penney, founder of JCPenney, put it perfectly: "The best teamwork comes from people who are working independently toward one goal, in unison."

Gather your shells (the ones who cheer loudest)

Then came my own "team moment"—speaking at an Illawarra Women in Business event. I consciously invited special women in my life to cheer me on, and, surrounded by this incredible "jar full of shells," I felt elevated, supported, and energised. As I spoke, I realised that intentional gatherings—carefully choosing who surrounds us—are the ultimate team-building exercise. Afterward, my inbox overflowed with messages from women who’d been inspired or touched. Each one reinforced this vital truth: success is magnified when shared.

Forget the "other half"

One final thought: I passionately reject the outdated concept of needing an "other half." You’re already whole. Your dreams aren’t waiting for someone else to complete you—they’re waiting for you to surround yourself with a team who cheers loudest when you win. As Glennon Doyle beautifully expresses in Love Warrior, "We can choose to be defined by the hurts that break us or by the healing and growth that change us."

Teamwork is everywhere—if you look

If you've ever believed you're truly alone in your successes, take a closer look. Like me, you might discover your own hidden constellation—a support network quietly empowering you every step of the way. Because teamwork isn’t just about winning championships or staging concerts; it’s about noticing and appreciating all the people who quietly, consistently lift you higher.

This week, here's my invitation to you: identify your own "jar of shells"—the people who've held you up, cheered loudly when you win, and stayed steadfastly by your side. Reach out. Tell them thank you. And never forget, even when it feels like it—you're never really doing this alone.

As the song says, "All by myself? Don't wanna be."

Neither do I.